March 15, 2011
People and Their Rude Uncensored Comments
To post this or not to post this...that is the question..... A few years ago my faithful readers were random internet friends that had never met me. In the past couple of years, I have added a few people here and there that actually do know me. I don't mind sharing things with friends but sometimes you just need a secret place to vent with out being judged or having the people you are talking about judged.Having said that if you know me and are reading this I will beat you up if you judge the people I am referring to, as that is my job only. :D But today I need to vent....although it is not limited to just these people or just these converations. It is crazy how many people want to give their opinions or advice on personal subject matters when they should just keep quiet. These are just the ones that have affected me the most and are the most recent.
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I would consider the age of 32 to be a grown adult. I am just sayin'. I feel that even with the flaws and imperfections that every person has as a parent that my parents raised me the best they could and that I turned out to be a decent person with high morals, good ethics, and a great life.
It makes it really hard when you realize someone loves you more than any human being could (after all she did give birth to you) and they have no confidence in you or the decisions you make. This has been something I have had to deal with my entire life. I have always been told to seek wise council. I have also been told that I am unteachable. The truth of the matter is, this is all said and only said when I make a decision that is not the decision she would make for me. There is not much I could do when I lived at home. But I have now lived on my own for 13 years. I am married to an amazing man. I have a 10 year old daughter and one on the way. Things still have not changed.
It is very frustrating. What could have been something great, advice from a person that loves me beyond compare, is now something I despise. The endless newspaper clippings that are brought to me telling me about anything from "eating dinner as a family" to "how much sleep a child should have" to "being a stay at home mom" are great, and I am sure are given to me because she means well. But when they are doused with condescending attitudes and words of "you should really do this instead" or "why in the world would you do it that way"?!? it is really hard to swallow the advice.
When my now exhusband and I were talking about having L'il C we were indecisive on whether or not we wanted to bring a child into this crazy world. Mom offered her two cents of "good people need to have kids so that there can be some good in this world to offset all of the bad."
Now when my husband and I discussed with each other about having another child, Baby A, she caught wind of the discussion and gave her unsolicited advice of "there is so much bad in the world you shouldn't bring another child into the world and have to worry about her so much." Hello?? I have turned one child over to God and if he can take care of her, he will take care of any and all children I choose to have.
After a conversation recently, my mom picked up on something I had said by accident and abruptly looked at me and asked, "You mean you are planning to have more kids?!?!" ---How stinkin' rude can you be?! I know she was in shock and her main duty in life now seems to worry excessively but why can't her first response be that she is happy for me? This is not her decision to make why does she make me feel like I needed her permission?!
When I called to tell my Grandmother that we were having another baby (Baby A) she was in shock and the only thing she said was "Why?!!" Eventually, I received a card in the mail congratulating me. But seriously?!?!
My mom just got back from visiting this same Grandmother who had asked if my sister was planning to have kids. Mom told her she wasn't sure. She told my mom that she would be okay if they never did. Why on earth she would say that is beyond me.
Again, at 32 years old, I do not need to fill out a requisition form to ask permission to make a decision concerning my life and it hurts my feelings that the confidence isn't there to appreciate the fact that I am capable. I believe I was raised right and I am quite capable and 100% confident that I have the God given ability to make wise decisions and the answers I don't know I will seek wise council...from the source of my choice.
Sincerely Frustrated
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 10:22 AM
1 Comments:
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Wheeler Family had this to say:
Cheri, I am so sad to read your story and think that she is treating you like this. She should be past the "mothering stage" and onto the supporting stage. She didn't get the memo from what it appears! (and neither did grandmother).
I am sorry you are having to experience this, but happy that you can see through it to what is best for you and YOUR family!
Love you girl!- 12:53 PM
