September 26, 2007
How To Tell If You Are Mom's Favorite
The truth of the matter is..... I am the one the mom is standing on! My sister was always my mom's fave! ....and that is okay, because I am my dad's fave. LOL.
They used to get really mad at me for saying that telling me that they both love us both equally but now I have assured them that it is okay we won't cry. Because honestly I would prefer to be my dad's favorite and Amy be my mom's favorite then to have them both love us equally. LOL!
Amy is the peace maker (like my mom) and I am the aggravator (like my dad). :) My mom stays aggravated at me and my dad so me and him have to be friends. And since Amy gets a long with everyone, I picked mom for her. :)
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 11:54 AM
September 20, 2007
The World Before Color Existed
L'il C in I were in a restroom washing our hands before dinner and she looks up at me and asks, "Mom, did they have color in the world when you were little?"Now to me this is a very random question. "What?!"
"Did they have color in the world when you were little?", she repeats.
Then I notice on the wall there are black and white old time pictures. Too which I start laughing on the inside (for fear of belittling her if I burst out laughing). "Uhm, Sweetie, are you wanting to know if the world was in color back then (because I am THAT old?) or are you wondering why those pictures are black and white?"
"Yeah."
"Baby, there has always been color in the world. They just recently invented colorful film to capture it."
"Oh! ......Well was the world in color when Grandma was little?"
To this my laughter could no longer be contained. "Nope. She is older than dirt and the world was truly in black and white back then." :)
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 12:07 PM
September 18, 2007
3 Stops In One...
Preface or only me and my sister would find it funny.....First of all you would just have to know my mom. She is the most conservative woman you will ever meet. Gosh, Dang, and Butt are all inappropriate words to use in front of her. She hasn't ever drank, smoked, or done drugs. She is an amazing woman and therefore makes an amazing Pastor's wife.
However, I do things constantly to aggravate her. I just can't help it. I know her buttons and how to get a rise out of her. I am always joking about drinking and smoking. She can't stand it and won't even laugh at the jokes because she is trying to be a good example and feels like it is inappropriate to laugh since I am her daughter.
Anywho...
Dad, Mom, our Associate Pastor and I were going to eat lunch together today. Dad was already running errands and was going to meet us there and the rest of us rode in mom's car. After a delicious lunch we had to drive to the cleaner's to drop off one of Dad's suits and also go to the post office which were right next to each other. I told mom that while she ran inside to the cleaner's I would walk next door to the post office and that would save time.
She immediately popped off to our Assoc. Pastor, "Okay, while I am doing that and she runs over there, why don't you run across the street to to the liquor store and we will be done!"
Mom made a funny!
(I told her I was writing this one down! ....I don't think she believed me! HA!)
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 11:39 AM
September 13, 2007
Is That Really A Law?!
Every state has at least one law that you crack up laughing at in disbelief that someone actually put that law in to effect. What you must realize is that unless someone had actually tried to do the things that were prohibited those laws wouldn't exist. So...not only is the law itself hilarious but also the fact that someone out there somewhere did those things makes it even funnier!Which brings me to this point:
Mr. C and I were talking last night and he told me to turn to Deuteronomy 25:11-12 in the Bible. Now each translation uses a different word. But it is all the same essence. The Living Bible says,
11) "If two men are fighting and the wife of one intervenes to help her husband by grabbing the testicles of the other man,
12) her hand shall be cut off without pity.
??? Some translations say the man's "secrets" and some say "genitals" but regardless.... There is a law made about this. Some lady had her hand cut off for grabbing another man by the balls to help her husband!
"Excuse me ma'am. What happened to your hand?"
"I grabbed Joe's balls trying to help my husband."
"Oh, You are the reason we have that law now?!"
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 6:41 AM
September 12, 2007
How the Fight Got Started!
(See someone else had a bad day too! - LOL) This is a JOKE. I am not the person that wrote this but it was funny.
I had a bad day today.
I rear-ended another car this morning on my way to work.I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was goingto be a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn't you know it...he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, then, which one ARE you?"
And that's how the fight started.
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 12:42 PM
Psycho-Kinesis?
How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis?
Raise my hand.
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 8:22 AM
September 11, 2007
A Day Made Just For Me!
To me, Fall is the best season...not to hot, not to cold! I woke up this morning to a crisp 60 degrees! I am in Heaven!
My fall favorites:
I love roasting marshmallows by the fire. I love roasting hotdogs. I love snuggling by an open fire or fireplace. I love to visit pumpkin patches. I love the beautiful leaves. I love funnel cakes. I love caramel apples. I love the fair. I love Silver Dollar City in the fall. I love playing in huge piles of leaves. I love playing outside. I love the weather. I love popcorn balls. I love fall home decorations. I LOVE hayrides!
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 6:53 AM
September 10, 2007
Shattered Dreams!
Someone finally found the pot at the end of the rainbow!
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 7:45 AM
September 08, 2007
At The Expense of My Sister...
My sister Amy is probably one of the funniest gals I know! She is most funny when she doesn't mean to be! (Most people are....)
After the funeral Thursday, L'il C was going on and on about needing to go the bathroom while we were still out at the cemetery. We weren't ready to leave yet and I asked her to hold it. She told me she couldn't. I told her she had 2 options since there were no toilets at the cemetery that she could either hold it or go down her leg. (Seemed like a good motherly thing to say!) She didn't like either option but at that point there was honestly nothing I could do. (These are the times you wished they were still in diapers!)
Anywho, Amy needed to get gas on the way out of that one horse town and I told L'il C she could use the disgusting gas station restroom once we got there. Since we didn't know the town, Amy was going to follow my dad to the gas station. We pulled into the Shamrock and noticed there may not be a restroom since the building looked really small. Amy pulls into the first row of gas pumps and we are discussing the bathroom issue. As we are sitting there one of the guys comes up to the window. The guy asks her what he can do for her in an amazing accent and since we are all still tryin to figure out why he cares she realizes why he is there. (it is a full service pump) She quickly says that she really didn't need anything but would like for him to keep talking so she could listen to his amazing accent! My mom, who is in the backseat with L'il C, and I start cracking up laughing. Now it is the guy's turn to be stunned as he was just there to fill her car up with gas....
Once we all recover, she asks if they have a bathroom there and told him she would just pull around and park. Well, that helps the bathroom issue, but she still needs gas. She looks over and notices that the other row of pumps were not full service but self-serve. So she whips back around to fill up her car there. Then it hits her.....this is not a QuikTrip. She looks at the pump and exclaims, "What I have to pre-pay!?..... I don't even know how to work that pump!....... That's it. I am so walking over to get Dad and have him do it!"
????????????
Pretty sure if all of the men inside weren't already talking about you to begin with, they really are now.
Amy gets out of her car and runs over to my dad's car and asks him to come pump her gas. I can.not.stop.laughing. When I get out of the car to go find L'il C and my mom (mom took her to the bathroom), I hear the attendant in the garage on the phone telling someone about Amy liking his accent!
I am sure they were all inside thinking, "Poor city girl. She don't even know!" (And if they weren't thinking that, I know I WAS!) LOL!
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 7:31 AM
September 07, 2007
Funerals
Yesterday I attended my great aunt's funeral. It was L'il C's first funeral to attend. She was okay until she heard my Grandma crying and then she started crying. :(This aunt retired from the U.S. Army were she ranked as Sergeant 1st class after 20 years and had also worked at one point as a stenographer for a U.S. General at the Pentagon. She was able to travel to many places all over the world throughout her military career. She also had her Private Investigator license.....must be where I get it! :)
Growing up we didn't see much of her but she always gave us the funniest gifts. My dad said she used to give really nice gifts so I am not sure what happened by the time we were born. She would give us reject gifts from garage sales and dollar stores that were going out of business. Now I am not opposed to garage sale or dollar store gifts, but her gifts were usually broken or something was wrong with them! LOL!
At least we know she was thinking of us. :)
The coolest part about the whole funeral yesterday was the 21 gun salute and the playing of Taps at her memorial service. That was a really neat experience. I had never seen it in person before. I had only seen it on tv. The flag was draped over her casket. The precision those men took in folding it was unbelievable. I wanted to cry when they presented it to one of her brothers. It was a very moving experience. I really hadn't seen my aunt often but she had a lot of interesting facts about her.
L'il C seemed to be okay and she didn't have any nightmares last night about dead people so I was relieved.
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 7:43 AM
September 04, 2007
Labor Day Weekend
Extended weekends were made for people like me! Friday night Mr. C (the new guy), his family, myself and L'il C went camping. We had a lot of fun.
L'il C caught her first fish ever! That made her day. She ended up catching 5-10 fish total. Mr. C has a little sister (Miss T) who is one year older than L'il C. Miss T was not happy that L'il C was catching more fish than she was and told her to switch her fishing poles so she could catch some! LOL!
That night we roasted hotdogs and grilled hamburgers. They were yummy! Mr. C played his guitar and we sang around the fire for a bit. (CLICHE' I know. But it was fun!) I brought S'mores so we made those too. The girls were covered in chocolate and marshmallows but not as much as Mr. C's dad. (No Lie) It was dark and I guess he didn't see it drip out the end all down the front of his t-shirt.
We went to bed around 11:00 p.m.
Mr. C's tent was near mine and he scared the crap out of me about 2:00 a.m. He stretched really big in his sleep and made the most terrible moaning noise ever! He decided to stretch again an hour later and once more at 4:30 a.m. I don't think I slept AT.ALL! LOL! His tent was little bitty and since he is 6' 4" I can't imagine how he even fit in his tent! HA!
The next morning it was very cool outside. That is my kind of camping weather. I don't like being hot and sticky. L'il C woke up promptly at 6:30 a.m. and let me know that she was ready to go fishing.... I guess she slept well enough to think that 6:30 A.M. is an appropriate time to wake up and go fishing! I told her there wasn't anyone up and to go back to sleep. So she does the only appropriate thing any child would do....challenges her mother..... So she unzips the window to look out and see if anyone is up. (crap) Someone WAS actually already up fishing! There goes my last hope for a few more minutes of sleep. :(
Mr. C was awake so we started breakfast on the fire....eggs, sausage, and bacon. His older sister came to help cook as well. I usually burn myself (it is a given) with popping grease so she took over the bacon, Mr. C. had the sausage, and I was in charge of the non-popping scrambled eggs. You would think with her being on the other side of the camp fire grill I would not be hit by grease! WRONG! It still popped out and hit me in the face. Welp, that just goes to show it seeks me out like a fat boy on cake!
After breakfast everyone took turns riding the dune buggy. That was most fun! The grass was still wet from the morning dew so yes....we were dirty! Mud, grass, and moisture flyin' up all over the place. Good. Times! I am pretty sure one of the times Mr. C was driving we were airborne for a few seconds. It felt like a roller coaster!
By about 3:00 Mr. C's mom and I were ready to go home. L'il C and Miss T were off again on again. They couldn't figure out if they were going to be friends or not and us moms were worn out difusing their disagreements. We usually stayed out of it but when we heard ear piercing screams from the tent we both took off running. One had pinched and the other had hit and they were fighting over a pillow. Enough was enough.
When were leaving Miss T, unbeknownst to me, had asked her mom if L'il C could come home with her. L'il C in the mean time was asking me if Miss T could come over. Are.you.kidding.me?! Not NO, but HECK NO! My nerves were shot even through all of the fun. LOL!
That evening was nothing more than relaxation at home! :)
Sunday was the usual....church. That night we played volleyball. And since I always win every game I play, I must take time to give kudos to Mr. C because his team actually won and he is proud to have beaten me at something! So here's KUDOS to Mr. C!!!
Monday we went to my mom and dad's for the usual "holiday" lunch. Dad grilled barbecue pork steaks (one of my faves!) and mom made corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, salad, and cookies for dessert! After a scrumptious meal we played Badminton in the backyard! I.SUCK! LOL. I played worse than my 6 year old daughter. More KUDOS to Mr. C. He and my mom played a pretty good game!
(For personal reference for future use: Mr. C broke the posts on the net....not me. LOL!)
We took L'il C to Incredible Pizza later that day. One time there is enough for one lifetime, but for some reason the place parents find to be boring, kids think the world of!
We also went to see Mr. C's new baby cousin. They are all Pentecostal Holiness down to the long sleeves, dresses, buns, no jewelry, no make-up, etc.... I fit in like.....well like a whore in a Convent! LOL! It was a little uncomfortable but the baby was cute! HA! Here I am with capris, short sleeves, jewelry, make-up, and a kid from another marriage. I am pretty sure they were praying for my salvation and talking about me when I was gone. That is okay. I should have whipped out my Mary Kay business card and let them know I had a miracle for 'em! Some of them needed the power of skincare and a little make-up to boot! HA!
It was fun watching Mr. C hold the tiny baby. It did increase his wants to have one though. He made the baby seem that much smaller since he is so big. (if that is possible....the baby only weighed 6 lbs 15 ounces) It was kind of funny because I heard him whisper to the baby that she didn't know it yet but the best looking guy in the room was holding her! How true that was! :) My man is a hottie!
Well, all was well in our worlds this past weekend. I hope you all had a fun Labor Day holiday.
L'il C did make an announcement to me yesterday that "Labor Day is her most favorite holiday ever!" ?????? with an addendum that made her mommy proud .... "I like all holidays!" Sounds good to me!
link | posted by Sweet Yet Sassy at 11:34 AM
